just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Randomize
