my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
