yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
