we have officially lost it.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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