what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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