You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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