the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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