went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
