That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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