i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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