She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
