dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
