You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
