fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
you had me at cake vodka
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
