I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
