i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
