We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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