I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
