Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Randomize
