Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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