she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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