just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
In other news, I just burned my penis
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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