how can u be prego again
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
