he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
