So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
