Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize