A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
