Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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