Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
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