He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
