If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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