barbara walters just said penis...
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
