This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
