This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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