Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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