I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
