I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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