Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
