Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
