did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
If I die, sorry about rent.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
