Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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