is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
