My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
it's like iHOP with fire
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
