we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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