I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Randomize
