yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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