Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
