Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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