Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i just had sex bonerless
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
