are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
