so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
