I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
