turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
