She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
