I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I still have a little drunk in my system
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
