i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
