he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I want her autograph on my taint
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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