Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
