Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
