Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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