I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
