it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
