You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
