Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
