Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
