do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
