are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
